Gathering of the Figments

Hawkins · by **Hawkins** on Sun Jul 06, 2008 7:18 pm

So what if Vermontians can't eat more than cheese and maple syrup without exploding from spicy-ness...

The chilli corrodes the entire earth.

I wish Jeff Dunham was on again. D:

Carrots · by **Carrots** on Sun Jul 06, 2008 8:23 pm

Granted, but his entire act lectures you on the difference between chili and chile. Chile is better.

I wish people would understand the difference between chili (a meaty dish thingy that some people eat with Fritos) and chile (a delicious spice that makes your mouth burn).

Hawkins · by **Hawkins** on Mon Jul 07, 2008 2:13 am

Oh. I thought you were talking about the country. And...they would understand. That's it. Nothing else would happen. Oh wait, no, um...someone who was perfectly content /not/ knowing the difference kills you with a very large baseball bat.

I wish I had a baseball bat. XD

The Bee · by **The Bee** on Tue Jul 08, 2008 11:39 pm

Granted, but it motivates you to kill people and lands your butt in super-jail.

I wish I could fall asleep in less than an hour.

Carrots · by **Carrots** on Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:02 am

Granted, but you can't fall asleep until 4 am.

I wish to go to bed by 2 am tonight.

Hawkins · by **Hawkins** on Fri Jul 11, 2008 2:42 am

Wait; super jail? Again?!

After a long night of drinking, mowing over pedestrians and making six strippers pregnant (that's talent. :/) you finally get to bed at 2AM.

I wish T2 was on again.

barneygirl · by **barneygirl** on Fri Jul 11, 2008 11:16 am

Granted and then it comes on again and again and again and again and again and again, you see where I'm going with this? Until it is the only thing anyone everywhere in the world watches on every channel. I could go on forever.

I wish Fall were here.

Carrots · by **Carrots** on Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:25 pm

Granted, but Fall is a tall man who takes pleasure in running people over with freight trains.

I wish to have your daughter's babies.

barneygirl · by **barneygirl** on Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:23 pm

Granted but then she will cheat on you and break your heart and after the divorce she will get custody of the babies (just because the courts are unjust when it comes to these things) and you will end up working 3 jobs to pay child support in addition to alimony payments while you spend the next 10 years trying to find another sucker to marry her.

I wish my toy yorkie could talk.

DarkWaltz · by **DarkWaltz** on Tue Jul 15, 2008 3:06 am

Granted but s/he is the most singularly annoying creature you have EVER met, and s/he won't shut up.

I wish I didn't have to sleep. I could get so much more done.

The Bee · by **The Bee** on Tue Jul 29, 2008 8:20 pm

Granted, but as time goes on you deteriorate quite a bit faster than everybody else. The only person whose brain was 80 years old and looked thirty (or however old you are).

I wish people would pay attention to this website: http://www.chatzy.com/330656017382

Arborial_Author · by **Arborial_Author** on Tue Jul 29, 2008 9:53 pm

Granted. The FBI pay attention to it, and shut down all Figment sites because they did.

I wish.... that my chair was more comfortable.

The Bee · by **The Bee** on Wed Jul 30, 2008 4:14 pm

Granted. So comfortable now is your chair that you never get out. You eat, sleep, take showers in it. I won't explain how you go to the bathroom, cuz it's kinda gross, but you don't get any exercise because you won't get out of your chair. So sad, now you're stuck in it, and you couldn't get out even if you tried. That's kinda gross.

I wish I had some money.

barneygirl · by **barneygirl** on Thu Jul 31, 2008 11:28 am

Granted, but the only way you are allowed to spend it is by contributing it to the homeless, battered and abused women and children, and animal shelters.

I wish my walls would paint themselves.

DarkWaltz · by **DarkWaltz** on Thu Jul 31, 2008 2:57 pm

Granted, but they would paint everything else in the room as well as themselves. They get a bit carried away like that...

I wish I wasn't so sore.

Gathering of the Figments

The corrupted wish

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